Go ahead tear it up (Post #127) 2/5/2009


I know you have felt like this at least once when you were driving. This last weekend I was once again reminded that kids and luxury automobiles do not mix. Sunday was the Alameda Bowl II at our church. It is a “friendly” game of flag football between the staff of the church and the youth group. Apparently it also is between the staff and ANYONE the youth group can find to play. This year the kids chose to invite several prominent members of the Norman North High School football team, several of which were Division I college recruits. It didn’t matter as the youth group lost once again.

Instead of playing football, my children chose to sit in RovErica’s Range Rover and “watch” the game. What they actually did was play with all the knobs and switches in the Range Rover and listen to the radio loudly. From this we had a dead battery, a broken seat adjustment switch and a broken air register. Was there any remorse? None that I could detect. I’m sure I can fix the seat switch and I’m pretty sure Drew said the air register was just “punched down into the vent”. I hope that really is the case.

what does a parent have to do to get it into our children’s heads to “take care of the things you are given”? The immediate answer is “Are you stupid, why did you give your kids have a Range Rover Classic in the first place?”
That’s a valid question. But it doesn’t address the original question. Everyone one of you have seen this phenomenon. Some rich kid gets the car of his/her dreams and proceeds to trash it or worse wrap it around a tree. I have been treated to the classic cliche’d story in every year my kids have attended high school. Rich kid gets a brand new Mercedes when they get their license. With in a month they have another new Mercedes because they “totalled” the other one. Why does this happen? What is the magic phrase or lesson that most parents fail to convey to their children that prevents them from destroying the things they have?

In my case, the problem may be that I let RovErica drive what would lovingly be called a restoration on wheels. Giving a “classic” car to a kid is an automatic recipe for disaster. Unless that kid was made to get their hands dirty they do not appreciate all the work it takes to keep a car that needs 2500$(US) a year of work done to keep it on the road.

When I was a kid, if I wanted to drive my car, (that I bought) I had to make sure it ran. If it was broken I had to fix it. If a part failed I had to buy the replacement. Or at a minimum ask for help if it was above my head. I did not do that with my kids. I don’t think very many fathers require their daughters to work on their own cars. I know there are exceptions, but as a general rule the gals go without basic automotive knowledge.

My girls can jump start their own cars. My girls can change their own flat tires. THEY DON’T change them, they call dad, but I know both of them can change their own tires if required. They both know that cars require oil changes. Erica waits for dad to do it for her, my oldest gets her oil changed every once in a while in her cars. Both of my girls know there are fluids that have to be checked and levels have to be maintained. My oldest just buys new cars when the old ones start to have troubles. My youngest doesn’t check her fluids, EVER.

I now have my son, Diet Mountain Drew, learning to drive. In six or seven more months my niece will be learning to drive. I have a third and fourth chance to change the culture and require them to maintain their own automobiles. But will I? I think I have to in both cases.

My son is well, a male, someday to be a man, and if the psychologist are right he will marry someone like his mom. My wife, their mother, knows absolutely NOTHING about cars. I say nothing, she knows they need gas and you use a key to “start” them. Beyond that, how the car gets her to work is purely magic. You see her daddy didn’t require her to know any of that.

So with Diet Mtn Drew and the Jazz it will be imperative that they know how the cars work. Drew for his “manhood factor” and because Jazz thrives on independence. She will someday be on her own and her special circumstance will require she be even more independent than my oldest turned out to be.

Which automobiles will the last two spawn drive? That is still to be determined. Diet Mtn Drew is contemplating the Disco for his car, but who knows.

So wish me luck, as I train the next two drivers to appreciate the automobiles.

Thanks for reading and Happy Rovering.

Observations at 181818 miles (Post #121) 12/20/2008


I managed to wrest the Range Rover from my dear daughter’s hands for some much needed care. I took the Classic down and got her a new exhaust. As you have read in previous posts, the catalytic converters were gone. They needed replacing in the worst sort of way. Also recently the right side exhaust gasket was also gone. So the sounds of the 4.2 had become a horrible caucaphony of sounds. I couldn’t stand it any longer.

So I swapped Rovers with her and when I got in I found that no less than three homeless people have been living in the spacious rear of my Classic. Okay, maybe not, but one nearly 18 year old was living out of the backseat. As you can see in the following picture an amazing collection of items have found their home in the floor of the spacious Range Rover LWB.

I don’t remember much about being 18, but I’m sure I didn’t live out of the back of my 1973 Ford Maverick Grabber. People actually sat in the backseat of my car on occasions. Yeah I know it’s hard to believe but I did have friends AND they liked me driving them around. I’m not sure any one can sit in the back seat of the Rover in it’s present condition.

So if you don’t have kids yet remember this picture. That way when you pass one of your beloved Land Rovers to your spawn you know what to expect.

While you are expecting the inside of your beloved British import to be trashed never fear, the outside will also be assaulted. As I remember marking on my friends cars with “shoe polish” I don’t remember it ever damaging anything. The kids have decorated my daughter’s Rover with many coats of shoe polish over the last two years.

The collection of stickers I have placed on the Rover have taken a beating. As you know stickers increase the off-road capability proportionately to the number you adhere to the outside of the vehicle. As you can see in the picture the stickers have been bleached clean by the application of shoe polish and the associated washings to remove the caustic stuff.

So each time you apply your own particular flavor of magic to keep your Land Rover motoring about the familiar landscape of your home town and the trails to your favorite fishing spots or camping sites remember no amount of maintenance and parts replacement can protect your Land Rover from an 18 year old. Eighteen year old’s and their affect on Land Rovers cannot be protected by applications of Waxoyl or installation of brush guards or applications of Lexol to keep your leather seats intact. No products have been invented that can protect your Land Rover from the day to day use by an eighteen year old. Only luck and the magical event of your dear little rug rat getting their first career job and their desire to “drive something else” will protect your Land Rover from the unanticipated affects of an eighteen year old.

Thanks for reading and Happy Rovering.

Heavy Sigh (Post #91) 5/29/2008

So a year and a half ago I bought a poly-bush kit for the Classic. I thought, “I’ll just go up to JagGuy’s shop and throw these on and be done with it.” I found out this is an eight hour job and mostly not much fun. So I’m looking for a shop that will do it for me. I went to one today (I’m not going to mention the name) and they had a policy that prohibited customers bringing their own parts in for replacement.I got red onesI got the red ones.

I’ve to respect that in some small way, due to watching too many people “bring their own knowledge” and parts to the computer industry I work in. If you told them up front, if you work on it before I do, it will cost you double, most people would laugh. But it often does. First you have to un-do their mistakes and then work on it yourself.

So now I’m still looking. I’m thinking though that I can’t afford the 8 hours of labor a shop is going to charge me and I’m probably going to do the job myself. Gone are the days when I could just whip out the credit card and worry about paying later. Heavy sigh…I hate being broke.

The Classic sounds like CRAP. The exhaust is screwed. I need new catalytic converters for sure. I know this due to hearing the ceramics bouncing around in them for a year. But even though I don’t drive it…it’s bothering me how it sounds. I’ve got two routes: new catalytic converters or a new Y pipe. Either way I’m out several hundred dollars. If I had a welder and the knowledge I’d do this myself. Heavy sigh…I don’t know how to weld.

Girl Welder of girlwelder.comI have a feeling that I will be driving it again before the end of next year on a daily basis. So I need to keep it up and take good care of it, even though it goes mostly unappreciated and depreciated by a daughter who uses the ample leg room in the back much like she uses the floor in her room to “store” things. Considering the last time I cleaned out the back for her, I’ve been in cleaner dumpsters. I fuss about it…and she continues to trash it out. Heavy sigh…teenagers.

Teenagers are the bane of many a Land RoverThe leather in the Classic is also visually telling us it’s had better days. I found Lexol at a local feed store. Surprised I made an impulse purchase only to find I already had a bottle at home I haven’t been using. Good news, it was slightly cheaper than the online places and I helped out a local guy with a sale. Heavy sigh…too much crap in the garage.

Our current house doesn't look like this, not at allMy garage at our previous house.

So I need to get out there and save what is left of the leather in the Classic. The driver’s seat is a goner. Nothing to do there. But the rest of the leather can be saved if I religiously put that stuff on and possibly some “leather feed” my Jaguar buddy is always telling me about. So I’ve got to find a seat to replace the trashed one. Just getting the leather and putting it on is, I’m told, a huge undertaking. So I can buy a seat from Rover Cannibal, I heard Ryan mumble one day, “they have plenty of seats”. Heavy sigh…another project I don’t have time to do.

Rover CannibalStill the coolest logo in the business.


Today we added a fourth to our carpool. The drive to work just got a lot cheaper.

Thanks for reading, and happy rovering.

May 17th, 2004 (Post #45)

May 17th, 2004
A Big Pause
Well ROVErica has had a great month. She competed and won a position on the Longfellow
Middle School Cheer Team for next year. We are very happy about this as her grades have gotten better too. But with this honor my money has been leaving the house at an unpresidented rate.

So I put a couple of projects on hold and have been bracing for the cost of Cheer Camp and all the clothes that go with it. In the midst of this my oldest daughter announced that she will wed her boyfriend in June 2005. We are very happy for her. With this more monies are exiting the domicile now and not even asking “by your leave sir” as they fly past me. Janie’s back surgery went excellently and her recovery is very good. She is not working and thus the funding has also gotten hit on that end. I didn’t really want to get new bushings and shocks anyway.

I desperately need them as The Big White Bus sounds like a creaky old man while traversing the
parking lots and gutters of our hometown.

I did start on the trailer lights and had to stop. I wanted to disassemble the deck lid and get
the rust stopped. I quit on this too. If a day or two come up in June I’ll get back on it hopefully.

Good News.
The catalytic converters on the Big White Bus are no longer rattling. I guess all the driving has ground them down and they haven’t rattled in month. I wish all my issues fixed themselves like this.

Funny story. My friend recently got a Jaguar XJ6. Nice car, very pretty. She was getting a message from the car that her “boot” was open. She had no idea what that meant. She drove around for a few days and it quit. During recent dinner at her house and JagGuy gave her a lesson on British car terminology just in case she had any more error messages she didn’t understand.

I have started working on graphics for a web page featuring my truck. I need a new name for the Big White Bus. Many people name their trucks but I have yet to find one I really, really liked. If you have a suggestion, email me at rover dot eric at cox dot net. Thanks.