Festivus - OKIEROVER.COM

Happy Festivus Everyone!

I have posted on Festivus before. I reviewed that post in preparing for this post. I re-read my list of Grievances and decided I would let them all stand as is. Other than this ONE THING, I don’t have anything Land Rover related to complain about so I’ll just leave it at that. What happened to the “Rover Wave“? (okoffroad.com) No one in my hometown acknowledges each other driving Land Rovers. Now I did see a black Range Rover on East Alameda this fall who waved. He was driving a Classic so it was expected. So maybe my complaint is with all those who drive the “new” Land Rovers.

So with the traditional Airing of Grievances out of the way, its on to the Feats of Strength! With that, I have noticed lately that I am not nearly as strong as I once was. Just the other day I was trying to extract a bad starter from my son-in-law’s Jeep. I couldn’t get the bolts out. This was partly due to over all weakness but in my defense the designers down at Jeep don’t want their starters out. They pack them into very cramped spaces and layer the exhaust and the front drive shaft under them. Getting weaker is kinda disappointing. Maybe in two or three more years +Diet Mountain Drew or +RovErica or +Fireball aka Tater’s Mom will be able to pin me.

So here’s to Festivus. May this holiday bring you all the joy the other holidays fail to provide.

Thanks for Reading and Happy Rovering and Happy Festivus.

As is the tradition with Festivus, I thought I’d start with the traditional “airing of grievances”. In no particular order (that’s why I numbered them). All questions are rhetorical and if you sense what I am saying has a hint of sarcasm, it is sarcastic.

The first has to be with the price of ignition coils. Seriously, why does a coil have to cost so bloody much? 140$(US) is just silly.
Why can’t we get a diesel motor option in America from Land Rover? Every motor company in the world has a clean diesel engine. Make it happen…FOR ALL LAND ROVER MODELS. Period.
Why do I have such a hard time with electronics? I have to blame all the 16-18 year old GIRLS I went to school with for being so distracting. If I’d gone to an all boys school perhaps I would have paid more attention in vocational training.
Why is taking care of leather seats so damn much work? I can polish a shoe as well as anyone, but I can’t save a leather seat from disintegrating under my ass.
Why do automotive engineers think we all have lifts in our garages? Why do they feel compelled to bury parts that are listed on tick sheets to be replaced at intervals in places that require the engine to be removed to easily repair. Think about the ignition wires and coil packs on a 2000-2004 Discovery That is simply asinine.
You design a car that can be driven from Solihull to the Horn of Africa. But if you roll down the windows more than 6 or 7 times the window regulator becomes wad of metal that resembles a pretzel inside the door panel. Think about our beloved Discovery 2 models again.
ABS pumps. You make a vehicle that requires power brakes but the pump you use has only a 10 year lifespan if you are lucky and after 10 years becomes more difficult to find than the effin’ Holy Grail. And when you do find one, it costs more than the value of the vehicle it goes on. This is not helping brand sustainability.
Cars in general. Think about the military contracts your country has to provide airplanes and tanks and trucks. Its not the initial cost of the item its the spare parts that you sell that make the money. If you want to be green, hug some trees and stop filling the land fills or in Oklahoma filling the washes next to creeks and streams, build a car that the owner wants to drive for more than 5 years and can get fairly prices parts for.

From http://www.surfaceandsurfacephotography.com/photoblog

This will conclude the “airing of grievances”.
Happy Festivus and Happy Rovering everyone.

Category: Festivus

Festivus for the Rest of Us (Post #424) 12/23/2013

Happy Festivus (Post #278) 12/23/2011