Back to the Future (Post #502) 6/15/2014

Happy Father’s Day to all you dads out there.

My son, Diet Mountain Drew, works at the OnCue on Flood in Norman. When he was leaving the other day a special treat rolled up.

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Yes, that is a replica Delorean outfitted like the famous auto from the Back to the Future franchise.

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An obvious crowd pleaser.
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Mr. Fusion
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Rich Corinthian Leather, its not really Corinthian.
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Fuel tank up front? Safety first.

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Diet Mountain Drew said the guy hung out and let people take pictures for almost an hour. That’s great. Sharing your toys with others.

I am a little surprised he stopped for petrol when he clearly has a Mr. Fusion Home Energy Reactor installed. Hmmmmm…..

Thanks for reading and Happy Time Travel.

The Millennium Falcon made by Land Rover (Post #458) 3/5/2014

Millennium FalconI was grounded this weekend with what is probably bronchial pneumonia. Lots of coughing, a very high heart rate from the medications, and an overall very tired feeling. Being relegated to the couch and bed all weekend, I watched a lot of television. I watched an entire afternoon of Star Wars movies. Episode 4 and Episode 5 mostly. I’m not a fan of The Muppet Show Episode 6 due to the ridiculous effort to cutesy-fy the franchise and merchandise the crap out of it. Okay back to the main point I came here to write.

The Millennium Falcon is obviously a Land Rover.

By now you must be saying “What.the.hell?” So hear me out…. Continue reading “The Millennium Falcon made by Land Rover (Post #458) 3/5/2014”

Cutters? (Post #415) 11/21/2013

If I said, “Cutters” to you would you know the reference?

I ran across a photo today that brought to mind a movie I really enjoy every time I watch it, 1979’s “Breaking Away”. I watched this movie on a VHS tape for the first time in the early 1980’s. I was serving in the United States Marine Corps Reserve, I was going to the University of Oklahoma, I was the son of a civil servant (F.A.A.), and we were the definition of middle class in Oklahoma at the time.

So if you know this movie you can imagine it struck a nerve when I watched it. I didn’t fit in with the Greek fraternity/sorority scene at the university nor did most of my friends. I was fiercely proud of my independence and my disdain for those things I considered the realm of the rich (like food, spending money, and automobiles that ran EVERY TIME you turned the key to start them) was almost visible. My friends and I even got a softball team together and played one season in the Intramural League. We called ourselves Gamma Delta Iota (GDI). If you were a frat you knew immediately what that meant. We were outsiders. (See also, Revenge of the Nerds (1984), Better Off Dead (1985), Sixteen Candles (1984))

I paid my way through school, no help from my parents or the public through grants or loans. You see, we were middle class and I did not qualify for public assistance. As a matter of fact, my second semester I needed help with tuition. I asked my parents about “the college fund” that was supposed to be put aside from the proceeds from the stud fees on my dogs, it didn’t exist. So I asked for a loan to be paid back in two months from my Marine Corps pay. “No.” was the answer. A week after tuition was due and I had withdrawn from school, my parents bought new furniture and carpet for the house. The jumbo bonus was my mom had secured a janitor job for me at T.G.&Y. from her boss at the newspaper who it turned out was also the manager at the T.G.&Y.

Things haven’t changed too much today. The poor, or economically challenged, or what ever you want to call them get assistance from the government to go to school. The rich, you can imagine generally don’t need help getting their kids to the university. So I watch my middle class kids pay for their college with loans and a little hand from the Mrs. and I when we can. It makes you wonder if there really is a “class war” in America. The ultra-rich stay rich, the moderately rich are taxed down to the middle class, the poor are assisted in order to achieve the middle class, and the middle class remain in the middle riddled with the debt to keep them there.
/end rant

Sorry for that. You don’t come to this website for social or political commentary so, back to the movie. Well for one thing, its great. I highly recommend it.

I ran across this picture today on the Just a Car Guy blog (he re-blogged it from another site, Illusions of Insite who re-blogged it from Entertainment Weekly. That’s how the interwebs work.)

Imagine how I enjoy this picture!
I’m already writing the sequel in my head. And frankly since there are no “new” movies in Hollywood I’m surprised some “B” studio hasn’t optioned it for a remake. They’ve remade nearly all the 1980’s great movies, time to slide down into the 70’s. Hell, they’ve remade “Robocop”….ROBOCOP! Really? How do you remake greatness? Do you think they’ll make it closer to the book like they did with the brilliant remake of “True Grit”? That’s a joke of course. The book was written after the screenplay and is different from the movie. Insert eyeroll here.

Okay, lets clear somethings up.

  • I have rich friends, I have middle class friends, I have poor friends. I hold no animosity in any form toward any of them. My rich friends got their money through damn hard work. My poor friends work harder than most people do and who could begrudge any of that?
  • This post oozes irony…
    • I am fiercely middle class and independent. It is ironic that I have such disdain for the Greek system yet I belong to the largest (and most deadly) fraternity in the world, the United States Marine Corps.
    • Today, ironically, I drive a car that only rich people could afford brand new.
  • I am no longer angry at my parents (deceased). It sucked at the time to be told no to my education. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t resent it at the time. It sucked a little harder to be out of school and a janitor again. But I learned a lot from that. And for the record, T.G.&Y. turned out to be one of the funnest jobs I have ever had.
  • I really don’t want Breaking Away remade. Please Hollywood, I’m begging you on my knees, stop re-making movies. Write something original and add to the mystic of your venerated Hollywoodland. As of the publishing of this blog post no jackass in Hollywood has planned a remake. You could see the soul of Hollywood escape the minute they started filming a live-action movie of Scooby Doo.

Once again, sorry for the soapbox, thanks for reading and Happy Rovering.

Preppers Anthem (Post #316) 1/19/2013

If you don’t watch “Doomsday Preppers on the National Geographic Channel” (National Geographic) then this song really doesn’t mean anything to you other than a message about how we are destroying the world around us. To those of you who do watch “Preppers” you “get it”. I enjoy watching the Preppers show. I have learned something different in every episode. For me, the hardcore preppers are a trip. One of those guys has at least a million dollars invested in his plan to survive…whatever happens next. Seriously, if you watch that show you will see people who are preparing for an end to the way of life as we currently know it.

Think of a worst case scenario, really think about it, now take the severity of that and multiply it by ten, there is a person out there preparing for that to happen. The show goes through several of these scenarios:

  • Failed financial system
  • Comet/meteor impact
  • Civil unrest
  • Famine
  • Natural disasters
  • Dirty bomb attack

All of these might happen.

If you watch the show you know that they assess each prepper at the end of their segment. The give them a score on their readiness and the “experts” give their opinion of the likeliness of the particular disaster actually occurring. I haven’t heard one that said, it was very likely.

Momentum
I am a firm believer in the momentum approach. You know the physics adage, “objects in motion tend to stay in motion”. Just a decade ago, people had over-inflated worries about the Y2K bug. Remember that? It was the thought at the time, that all the computers would just magically stop working when the date rolled over to January 1, 2000.

Did a lot of people spend a LOT of money to make that not happen, sure they did. Not all of it was necessary. I worked for my buddy JagGuy back then and he made a pretty good living off the regulatory concerns of the Federal Deposit and Insurance Corporation (FDIC) and the banks it serves. Among the many things we did for the clients, we helped banks certify elevators that didn’t even have a computer in them, “Y2K ready”. Madness.

Let’s get back to my momentum theory. I had a concerned citizen back then ask me about Y2K and their concern there would be no power. They detailed how they were going to buy a generator and stock up on food, “Just in case.”

Even though deep down inside I wanted to laugh at them, I didn’t belittle them, I thought, “If this helps them sleep at night, good for them. At least they are preparing.” I listened to their concerns and then I asked them a simple question.
“Does the power company make any money if they can’t provide power to their customers?”
They finally said, “No, I guess not.”
Then I said, “Don’t you think they want to continue to be able to bill their customers for power?”
You could see the lights come on, and they said, “So I shouldn’t buy a generator?”

I told them that was not my call. Do whatever you think will be best. They were preparing for a disaster. Why discourage them? They are working out a plan for some unforeseen event. GOOD!

I believe the momentum of the society we live in will continue. People will always need water and food and fuel and electrical power and the basic necessities of life. There will be someone there to provide those things in all but the absolutely worst case scenarios.

World War 3 was once a real worry, some of you younger readers might not remember the START treaties and how we were all sure we would die from nuclear war. Nuclear détente (Wikipedia) was inevitable. People planned for this event by building bomb shelters and stocking up on food. “Blast from the Past” (1999) (IMDB) was a romantic comedy about a naïve man who comes out into the world after being in a nuclear fallout shelter for 35 years. As you know, it never happened. It will most likely never happen on that scale.

Not a Prepper
I’ve had people say I was a prepper. I have seen the 1984 version of Red Dawn (IMDB) literally 100 times. Thirty years ago, we believed it was a real possibility that Russians might invade America. This isn’t even part of any serious discussion at the Pentagon today. There is no way we are being invaded, not even by China. (Who would they sell all the stuff they produce to?) With this in mind I’ve been prepared to wage a counterinsurgency since 1984.

I think it is important to clarify my position:

  • I believe it is important to be prepared for EVERY situation.
  • I believe I am more prepared than most people.
  • I believe our system of government and the organization of our society will survive nearly all man-made catastrophes.
  • I believe within two hours I could leave my home and live anywhere for at least a week.

As far as I am concerned, I am not a prepper. Am I prepared for an event that might change the way I live comfortably off the resources provided by an organized system of government and society?
Short answer, not as prepared as I’d like to be.

What should we prepare for?
Our biggest worry should be natural disasters. Tornadoes wipe out communities almost every year in Oklahoma. Being ready for an interruption in basic services is probably the place you should put the majority of your resources. We are not likely to see a tsunami wipe out tens of thousands of people, or a volcano spew magma all over our cities. But a tornado could plow a mile wide path through your hometown tomorrow (any tomorrow). I’ve seen it.

So to wrap this up. If you want to prep/be a prepper by all means go for it. My advice for most everyone else in Oklahoma in descending order of importance:

  • Have an alternate source of water
  • Have some sort of shelter and or a way to heat your home
  • Store some rations if you plan to bug in
  • Be prepared to repel looters

If it is a natural disaster, the government and the aid societies will be onsite in a few hours after it strikes. Your friends will be able to help you too so don’t be afraid to ask for help.

If you are just getting started I suggest you read about making a Bug-Out Bag (Art of Manliness.com) and formulate a plan. This type of planning will get you a LONG way toward being prepared for something temporarily terrible happening.

Arming Myself to the Teeth

Contrary to what you may read on some websites, you don’t need a fully kitted-out expedition-class Land Rover Defender with ring-mounted MK19 40mm grenade launcher to survive. (I didn’t say you shouldn’t have a MK19, I just said you don’t NEED one.) A full tank of gas for your Range Rover will get you a long way toward getting out of the way of danger.  I see a lot of guys paying for some very expensive firearms. For what an well configured AR-15 costs, you could buy 3 months worth of portable food and a very reliable Mossberg 12 gauge shotgun.

Wrap-Up
Well that was a lot. It was possibly a little scatter-brained but I think most people will get the gist of this post.

Key points…

  • Something bad will probably happen (think natural disaster not societal collapse)
  • Make a good Bug-Out Bag
  • Be prepared, have a plan

Thanks for reading and Happy Prepping Rovering.

Winter is Coming (Post #307) 12/8/2012

I love that line, “Winter is Coming”. If you are a fan of HBO’s Game of Thrones you know the phrase Winter is Coming has a special meaning. It is appropriate in this post because ONE, winter is indeed here although you wouldn’t know it in Oklahoma; and TWO, it implies that there is a impending doom upon you. Oklahoma weather is like that. One day you are wearing shorts wondering if you should reopen the pool, the next day you are wondering if you have enough firewood and if it would be cheaper just to open the freezer doors because its colder outside than inside the meat freezer in the garage.

Such is life on the plains. Be Prepared, is not just the Boy Scout’s Motto it is a warning, be ready for what ever comes your way. I’d like to say I am always ready. Fact is I am ready more than I am not. And compared to other people, sometimes I’m just down right psychic in my level of readiness. A regular Okienostradamus.

So with that, whether you drive a Range Rover, Discovery, Defender, Series II or III, Air Mobile, or Forward Control you should have a nice kit of preparedness in the boot. You all know this is a Land Rover blog, but this advice extends to you even if you drive a Jeep or a Honda Civic, get some basic items together and be prepared.

While I was suffering from insomnia last night brought on by a runty little skunk spraying our rookie watch dog, Bocephus (RovErica named him) at 0230, I was thinking of the kit in the rear of the Range Rover and this post.

I have written about this before, “What’s in Your Console” is found on my website OkieRover.com. I talk about all the items I carry in my quest to be prepared. So I thought I’d list a few items to deal with what will surely (I know, don’t call me Shirley) make you one of the most prepared flatlanders on the plains. You never know when you might be in the middle of a Snowpocalyse.

Shovel

Handy for digging yourself out of a snow bank when you are in a Target or mall parking lot or dispatching zombies. If you exercise your option to UPGRADE you could get one of these, Cold Steel Spetznaz Special Forces Shovel. Prices vary, so shop around. I have one in the Range Rover. Very handy in many situations.

You could also opt for the traditional G.I. Joe Entrenching Shovel.

These are available almost anywhere. The ability to have the spade set at 90 degrees to the handle is excellent for digging and pulling snow out from under the body of your motor. It also folds up and can be tucked out of the way easily in your boot (trunk). It can be used as a weapon if necessary too. I’ve heard many a story of troops using them as a last resort.

Jumper Cables

Winter is jumper cable season. You may be surprised to learn heat kills more batteries than the cold, but it is true. I can safely say I have used my jumper cables in winter four times more often than summer. Get a pair of the higher quality ones. They last longer and will be easier to use when the north wind is attempting to cut you in half. Jumper cables are not very useful as a weapon unless you are a ninja or have Mel Gibson strung up by a chain to be tortured ala Lethal Weapon (1987).

Blanket

Every vehicle I own has a blanket in the trunk. They are useful in summer when you need a ground cover while you enjoy a picnic or fireworks show. In winter they might just save your life if you happen to slide off the road and can’t get yourself unstuck. You can get a blanket from any number of places. I like the woven blankets of Mexican origin. They are cheap, so cheap that if you were to get them covered with goat heads, stickers, or whatever you call them, you just leave in the nearest waste bin.

Ice Scrapers

I buy these when they are on clearance for a dollar at the end of winter. I toss them in the trunk and hand them to the EXCEPTIONALLY UNPREPARED MORON scraping their windshield with a credit card or their keys or their sandals. Seriously, really, I’ve seen it. Not only did the moron not have a scraper but they were wearing SANDALS IN WINTER TIME during an ice storm on the plains. I should just let natural selection take her icy course on these idiots but the condescending judgmental looks I get to give them when I hand them a free scraper are too good to pass up.

Tow Strap


Having a tow strap might be a nice addition. Don’t scrimp on this one. Get a REAL tow strap. Rope, cord, etc… will not cut it. Chains are impractical due to the weight to distance ratio. Twenty foot of grade 70 tow chain can move up to 4,700 pounds but it also weighs 20 pounds. A tow strap capable of pulling 6,000 pounds weighs only two pounds and can be purchased for around a saw buck (ten dollars).

Know Where Your Recovery Points Are
Crawl under your car now while you are dry and warm and look for the recovery points. I’ve run into many cars that don’t even have recovery points. As a matter of fact I ran into a Mercedes sedan in my neighborhood that didn’t have a recovery point in the front. What ever you drive, find out if there is a place to hook a tow strap and how to get to it. It isn’t any fun to dig under your car when it’s in 8-12 inches of snow to find the effing recovery point only to learn TOO LATE you don’t have one there.

I could probably go on for nineteen pages with suggestions. I’ve heard people say they put bags kitty litter their trunk. I can probably see that for traction on the ice sheets we often have here in the southern plains. Never used it myself. There are a hundred more items but I will not dwell on them here.

Winter is Coming. Be Prepared. Take the bull by the horns. Endeavor NOT to be “that guy/gal”.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention today is the 71st Anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor. 
Never forget.

God Bless America, Thanks for reading, and Happy Rovering.