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More of the same (Post #120) 12/17/2008


I haven’t had much to blog about lately. The Discovery still has a door panel off waiting for me to get a window regulator or the plastic wheels to fix the existing mangled regulator.

The Range Rover is still throwing codes for 69 position switch and 44 for a bad O2 sensor. And the exhaust still sounds like crap. The down turn in the economy has me on hold for now. Maybe after the new year comes around. My mother usually gives me money for Christmas, maybe I’ll buy parts with it this year.

Good news, the door lock on the rear door of the Discovery just magically started working again. It had a weird problem. When I locked the Disco, the latch would not go down. When I double locked, it would go down. But if I doubled it would not unlock when I unlocked the vehicle. Weird. But with the ultra cold weather recently, 11 degrees F on Monday, things have changed.

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Ever feel like this? (Post #119) 12/5/2008

Every time someone introduces a new technology I feel just like these guys. These are the current items on my list of technology that I have yet to embrace:

  • Internet phones
  • Blue-Ray
  • iPod and iPod-like devices
  • Electric cars

I know many years ago (1998) when the internet was just beginning to be discovered by the everyday guy, I was one of those guys that used the mysterious NEW thing on one of them new fangled computers. So I know how it feels to be on the outside looking in. Today the people who have cellular phones and DON’T text, I liken to the first cavemen who wouldn’t use fire to warm their caves.

I have learned that if you wait long enough the scientist and inventor will dumb down the technology enough that just about anyone can use and understand it. Ham radios are a perfect example. In order to get a First Class Radio License back in the day you had to be able to send and receive Morse Code with reasonable effectiveness. Today most people can’t even tell you what Morse Code is, let alone what a Ham radio is or why you would want one.

A perfect example of a product getting easier and easier to use is the automobile. We have been promised flying cars for nearly 50 years by the auto industry. Can you imagine some of the idiot drivers you see on the road today in a FLYING CAR? I find it ironic that when technology could save the auto industry they aren’t even able to make a fuel efficient vehicle and market it. They have had decades to build “what the consumer” wants. But they instead whored up their industry with the pursuit of the quick buck and produced crap and marketed it to us as the greatest thing since sliced bread. And today they end their begging session testimony before congress to save their industry with a bail-out.

Do I need high-def TV with a Blue-Ray player and optional digital inputs so I can plug in my 900 gig iPod and watch back episodes of Family Guy in my shiny new hybrid 4×4?
The short answer is no.
The long answer is hell yeah, does my neighbor have one? Then I need two, dammit.
Actually what I would like is a simple automobile that

  • is priced fairly (in other words one that doesn’t require me to change social classes to afford),
  • has cheap parts (at least reasonably priced),
  • is easy to repair,
  • is economical to operate,
  • doesn’t have a more powerful computer than the one I use in my office,
  • doesn’t require me to go back to college to operate,
  • doesn’t fly.

Here at the dawn of a new era in the auto industry let’s all hope they figure it out and go back to the drawing board and produce something the American consumer will be once again proud to own. Something that was made in the United States by happy workers working at reasonable wages and with a cup holder or two.

If the economy gets as bad as it was in the very funny made for TV movie, Americathon, where we all live in our cars, if you have an SUV or two (like OkieRover) you’ll be the one everyone envies.

Have a good weekend and enjoy the gas prices while they drop.

Thanks for reading and Happy Rovering.

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Happy Thanksgiving (Post #118) 11/27/2008

My sister-in-law’s husband, John, is a very funny guy. In a Facebook chat with another friend of mine, Mike, John lays Thanksgiving out for everyone in the comments on Mike’s “status”.

Michael Segroves is thankful the power came back on so I can cook my turkey, because it would have been a Thanksgiving disaster if I was in jail for assaulting an OG&E worker.
about an hour ago

Brian Shea at 7:29am November 27
I bet you can still pull both of those off though.

Michael Segroves at 7:38am November 27
It’s early, and I got family coming over. We could have another Famous Segroves Thanksgiving Meltdown

John Helton at 8:00am November 27
Helton’s definition of Thanksgiving.

A time for the functional side of the family to acknowledge that there is a dysfunctional side and they will show up to crash Turkey Day.

Helton’s definition of awakening

You wake up one morning and realize you are Cousin Eddie.

Have a great Thanksgiving Mike, I will be in Edmond at 10 to pick up my niece from Oklahoma Christian. Do you mind if Cousin Eddie drops by for brunch?

Michael Segroves at 8:03am November 27
Of course you can come by

John Helton at 8:37am November 27
Maybe another day, we have to be at Eric and Janie’s at 4 and we still have stuff to cook.

Truer words were never spoken. Here’s to all of my readers this Thanksgiving day.

Here’s to each of you on the functional side. Thank you for working so hard to keep the world as close the Eisenhower 1956 ideal of the family holiday. It’s damn hard work.

And here’s to each of you on the dysfunctional side. Thank you for traveling all those miles to reconfirm to the functional side that the Fifties are over and it’s okay to be different.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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Funniest Craigslist Car Ad EVAR (Post #117) 11/26/2008

NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra – $12900 (Ronan / Lake County)
Reply to: Redacted
Date: 2008-11-19, 10:04PM MST

OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o’clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn’t meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that’s what your Prius is for. If that’s the kind of car you’re looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn’t even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don’t get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn’t let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don’t even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It’s got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you’re operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you’re being chased by Libyan terrorists, you’ll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It’s saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There’s a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I’ll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don’t walk up and tell me you’ll give me $5,000 for it. That’s liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let’s just say you won’t be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There’s only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it’s a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I’ll get back to you. And when I do, we’ll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I’m throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can’t fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.

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PSA: Oil Filters (Post #116) 11/25/2008


Every few years I post up the Oil Filter Study. Mostly it is a way to convince you to buy better filters for your Rovers. In looking for a totally unrelated email I found an email where I sent the Oil Filter link to a friend. I thought it had been long enough since the last post that I should probably post it again.

The good news is the study is still online. The better news is I have a new link, due to the study moving to a new page.

I use Wix/Napa filters on all my autos.

Thanks for reading and Happy Rovering.

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Temporary(?) fix for the leaking throttle body preheating thing (Post #115) 11/21/2008

How do you like that title?
I wasn’t sure what the part on the bottom of the throttle body that developed the leak is called. So that will be the temporary name with the temporary fix.

Temporary because I would have done it a lot different if I knew more about what those bits do. The hose is small and couldn’t possibly affect the cooling ability of the system. It is also temporary because if i were to “re-plumb” that part I would have cut the hose and matched it with the hose going into the manifold. But because it is pressurized it’s got to have a flare on the hose. I don’t have anyway to flare that plastic hose and without the flare the first time it got hot and pressurized it would dump all the coolant in short order.

So for now it will be plumbed that way. I tucked the hoses out of the way and put a zip tie on it to hold it down.

Many thanks go out to Disco Mike for his suggestion to just plumb it closed and call it good. He is an excellent resource and knows his Rovers very well. I owe you a beer (or six) for sure.

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