Happy New Year, Whoa! (Post #279) 1/2/2012

I say whoa because here in the middle states “whoa” is the command you give a horse to slow down or stop depending on the pull of the reigns. “Whoa” is also what goes through your head when you press on the brakes in your Range Rover and they surge like you have a warped brake disc.

I put those discs on just this summer. They haven’t had a thousand miles on them yet and that’s pretty disappointing. I’m going to remove them and have them machined down. Its a job I can’t get to right now as my garage is not yet reclaimed from all the stuff that didn’t make it into the garage sale after mom’s funeral.

I also need to adjust the upper rear lift gate. It has a nasty habit of popping open when the body flexes as when we go over the rail road tracks on Robinson street or over a water erosion formation out in the pasture. I think I can back it out just a bit and not try for such a tight fit.

Taking advantage of the beautiful weather on New Year’s Eve it was a very unseasonable 70F, we planned to go shooting. RovErica’s boyfriend is home on leave from serving in the U.S. Marine Corps water taxi service. In actuality, he serves aboard the USS Guardian. And from the picture you can surmise he’s stationed in Japan, as that is Mount Fujiyama in the background.

Our gracious host has some very nice weapons and we took full advantage of the fun provided by shooting some of the classic weapons of the greatest generation. We shot a Thompson, BAR, and some other toys that I brought.

RovErica is my only child who enjoys the shooting sports. She especially likes to shoot the M-1 Garand but she only shoots it a few times before she is done. I made her shoot it “one more time” so I could get some video. Before you beat up on me for being mean to her during the video she is tougher than she might look. And don’t worry Momma was there so I couldn’t be too mean to her without feeling her wrath.

Chris brought his little brother and together the put on a pretty good display of shooting for rookies. I was quoted at one point as saying to Chris, “You shoot pretty good for a squid.” He actually does shoot well and put on a display with the BAR by pushing the rubber target up the berm.

RovErica really likes shooting my .22 revolver. She asked me to leave it to her in my will. I’m pretty sure the other kids will give her all the guns. That might change if any of my grand kids like shooting with their PawPaw. We shall see.

We finished off the New Year’s Eve activities by having our friends the Fisher’s over. We do this nearly every year. Neither of us have to be out or driving we live just 3 houses away. They brought a new game this year. Name 5 is pretty fun. The gist of it was you draw a card and it has subjects on it and you have to name five of what ever the subject is.
Name five college sports teams.
Easy right? A couple we found fun were name five kinds of house plants. Being that we don’t have green thumbs we couldn’t come up with five. The other team can challenge your answers and if it is deemed not a acceptable answer you lose. On the house plants my wife answered Marijuana. Between Mrs. OkieRover and I we could name 6 people from our past that grew that in their home. Hell, my brother grew it in his closet at my mom and dad’s home when we were growing up. It was deem unacceptable and so we lost that round.

It seemed when the other team would get name five colors, we would get name five Ethiopian Nobel Prize candidates from the first half of the 20th century. Or they would get name five letters in the alphabet, and we would get name five Popes from the Middle Ages who weren’t born in Italy. It a pretty good time. We finished up with some Wii Archery, Bowling, and Fencing Speed Slicing. Good times.

As I watch Mrs. OkieRover put away the Christmas decorations and the Dallas Cowboys getting thumped by the New York Football Giants I wish you all a Happy New Year. Let’s have a really good one this year and let it be full of awesomeness.

As far as resolutions…eh, I have decided to get into better shape. My man boobs have grown to B cup size and that’s just not acceptable. The weight loss I have enjoyed has slipped around 15 pounds. I need to get it back off.
Name five exercises that will get you back into shape if you just do them.
Name five projects the Range Rover needs done so I can get her out on some four wheeling trips this Spring.

Thanks for reading, Happy New Year, and Happy Rovering.

Real close to starting Range Rover Restoration Part Duex (Post #186) 7/9/2010

I’m getting real close to (or as we Okies say, I’m fixin’ to) moving the Range Rover into the garage for her latest restoration project. The infamous Range Rover Restoration, Part Duex: RovErica’s Revenge. I say I’m “fixin’ to” start the project because I am determined not to use my wife’s side of the garage to store the crap valuable items on my side of the garage. Currently I have a full size box spring for a bed, a giant rocking chair, a box or two of miscellaneous glassware, a book shelf, all my reenacting gear (in stackable tubs), and several other loose items on my side of the garage. There is no room for a restoration project.

Should I have a garage sale? Probably. Do I hate to have garage sales? Definitely. I am waiting for the garage sale because I know when we start working on my mom’s house there will be tons of stuff to sell at a garage sale. Why have a little garage sale when a bigger one will be better?

So I will get the kids to help move the reenacting stuff up to the attic where it was before I used it back in April. I will reorganize the other items and reduce their floor space foot print. Once that is done, I can move the Range Rover in and get started.

That's a true fact dad.

Get started? What are you going to do OkieRover? That is a great question oh gracious and loyal reader. Let us begin by describing first why anything has to be done at all. Maintenance, that’s why. When you allow a sixteen year old to drive a 15 year old vehicle of British manufacture, things magically stop working. I know that is hard to believe with kids as great as mine but it is “a true fact” as Diet Mountain Drew would say.

When you can’t get to the vehicle because:

  • it is busy being a taxi for a dozen children who’s parents were smarter than to give their kids cars,
  • it is sitting in front of some kids house while your daughter is putting around in that kid’s car because, “Oh, I forgot to tell you, the air condition isn’t cold any more.”,
  • it arrives home each day on average about 25 minutes after you have gone to bed,
  • and lastly, because you are only allowed two sentences each time you see your daughter exit the house on her way to work or somewhere else she is late to, and you are sure as hell not going to let her forget to clean her room and do that random chore you asked her to do yesterday before the door shuts and she is gone again. You don’t waste those precious moments on, “how’s your car running?” Which almost always elicits a response like, “Good! That weird noise it was making for the last 3 weeks finally stopped yesterday.”

See, kids don’t equate noises with problems like mechanics do. Just listen to one hour of Car Talk on your local public radion station Saturday. I dare you. Hell, I double dog dare you. I swear I hear the brothers ask the caller, “How long has it been making that noise?” at least 10 times per show. And almost every caller responds with the same answer, “oh, I’d say aboot six munts or so.” [end New Englander accent]

These clueless callers think their mechanic or in my kid’s case, daddy, can sense any automotive problem with his amazing super powers 30 miles away, at work, talking to callers who’ve locked out their accounts on the system for the fourth time that day or can’t remember the password you gave them ten minutes ago, while listening to The Beat Farmers Radio station on Pandora or my Those Darlins CD, while thinking about the roast beef and provolone sandwich he is going to enjoy at VZDs when lunch time rolls around. All the while dreaming up things to blog to you about. (I know what you’re thinking, yeah, I’m a busy guy.)

So after a couple of years of this behavior things get beyond fixing pretty fast. Let’s us now compile a list of just the things I can remember right off the top of my head. In no particular order:

Viscous Coupling
Sun Roof
Brake Discs
Brake Reservoir
Air Conditioning System
Bushings
Sound System
Cosmetic items inside, outside, and under the hood
Cruise Control
Door Locks
Head Liner
Complete Fluid Service
Drive Shaft Seals
Power Steering Hoses
Possible CV Joints
Possible Failed Transmission

That’s about it. If I were to take this bad boy down to a mechanic I’m pretty sure the labor alone for all this could buy a pretty nice used late model LR3 or Range Rover. That leads us to the obvious question, why fix it? Well, you didn’t read this far down this blog post to ask that question, you know why. Because I, like you, love your Range Rover and can’t imagine not having it sitting in the driveway waiting for me to jump in and tear off down the road.

I hope to have all this fixed in time for the inevitable Snowpocalypses of 2010 and 2011. And with my new utility trailer I hope to make a few camping trips with my wife next year.

The good news for my readers is the fourteen new entries to the Tech Tips Section of www.OkieRover.com these projects will create.

RovErica aka RovErica

All this and I’ve been thinking about reviving the local Land Rover Owners club for the OKC metro area. So look for more info on that in the coming months. I have a photographer and former Land Rover driver (RovErica), anyone know a good web programmer that works cheap?

Thanks for reading and Happy Rovering.

Snow…one more time (Post #172) 3/23/2010

This weekend I let my daughter drive the Range Rover. We had a final (fingers crossed) snow storm this past weekend. I don’t have to tell you it was weird to have 5 snow storms this year. In any event, RovErica claimed she had not been taught how to drive in the slick-ish conditions in her Ford Taurus. She wanted to take the Range Rover due mostly to the ride position.

I was apprehensive to say the least. RovErica has had a poor track record of wrecking the Rovers when she “borrows” them. But I let her drive it anyway. I did caution her to drive carefully and to take it easy on the old broad.

She was good to her. She took care of my weekly driving task. And by running her she took care of the battery maintenance that I have failed to do for a couple of weeks. What makes this whole episode worthy of comment is the fact that she gave her new boyfriend a ride in the Rangie. He seemed tense. RovErica asked him why he was nervous, “Is it my driving?”. His response was not what she expected.

“This thing road walks.”
RovErica was quick to dismiss the issue, it’s always done that. Apparently it was enough to make the new boyfriend pretty nervous. To describe him would be difficult as we have not known him long, but to put it in a word, we could use “country”.

He is country. By that I mean he dresses the part, he’s in the oil business, more specifically he is a rig mechanic, he hunts, he guides hunts, and if we are getting the story accurately he had a scholarship offer to shoot at Texas Tech. That last part needs some confirmation but for now we’ll leave it there. He should be used to vehicles with eccentricities. Hell his pickup truck doesn’t even have a muffler that is up to code, nor does it have heat, RovErica mentioned a few other things too, which was precisely the reason they wanted to take the Range Rover.

Spring is now upon us and it is time to start working on the Range Rover in earnest. I want to the family camping this Spring and I need to get some things fixed first. The list seems to grow every month, but right now its the viscous coupling on the transaxle that demands immediate attention. With RovErica’s new beau’s concern for safety, maybe I should finish the bushing project I started last fall as well.

I have to get the garage cleared first. There is just entirely too much stuff in there to work on the Range Rover. I think I could do the bushing job laying underneath the Rover if the garage was cleared of storage stuff. It would be better to do it on the lift at JagGuy’s shop but I may need to make this a multiple weekend project. Which I really can’t do at the shop.

So I have the wife convinced we need a storage shed. She has said we needed one since we moved into this house. I had been holding off because I thought I wanted a shop instead of a storage shed. But all I really need is storage. I can still use the garage as the “shop” if I had a place to put all the crap.

And by crap I mean, a box spring, the mower, Diet Mountain Drew’s weight lifting bench that he never uses, half a desk, my table saw, the big ladder, the camping gear we never use, my lathe, and probably half a dozen computer parts. There is a bunch of crap in there.

So after I spend a weekend building the storage shed, a weekend of repairing the viscous coupling, a weekend for the bushing project, a weekend camping, a weekend of Chicago Fire soccer, a weekend at Maribone Springs playing cowboy, a weekend at Fort Washita reenacting the Fur Trade period in Oklahoma, and probably a weekend shooting a docu-drama on the Seminole removal, and several weekends at mom’s house getting it ready to sell, it’s football season again.

Will the madness ever stop? Probably not.

Thanks for reading and Happy Rovering.

R.I.P. 2003 Discovery (Post #138) 4/14/2009

As many of you have heard, the 2003 Discovery is no more. Okay, that’s not entirely true it will live on as a parts car or with a rebuilt title for some lucky or unlucky fellow. My daughter tapped rear ended a Dodge pickup and totaled it. I know what you are thinking, TOTALED? After the insurance company added up all the plastic crap bits on the front that had to be replaced and a very slight push back of the fenders it was more to repair the vehicle than the value of the vehicle.

I was none too pleased either. We still owed more than the value of the vehicle. Making me upside down in a vehicle I was about to give over to the insurance company. The good news is the bank, having no other choice, is going to let us pay out the remainder on a signature note. I got lots of offers to buy bits off and even Disco Mike called me offered a way to close the gap on the value to loan ratio.

I had wanted to put an ARB bumper on it the first few months after we had bought it. But my wife vetoed my purchase. Buying a 1000$(US) bumper to replace $1000(US) of plastic made sense to me. But sadly not to my wife. So the Campho-Phenique on the wound of the wreck was when Charlie Blankenship of Sports and Classics told me after looking at the damage, “if you had an ARB bumper on there, you wouldn’t have had any damage.” So my advice to all you Discovery owners, buy a better bumper FRONT and REAR. And my own advice is to attempt to never buy another vehicle that in a 10mph wreck, disintegrates on impact.

Have you ever thought about this? Look around, nearly every car has plastic crap bumpers. You can’t buy anything short of a truck that has metal bumpers. And even in those there are a lot of plastic bits.

Let’s move on to the ranting evaluation.

I did not like the following about the Discovery 2 design.

Getting in and out of the back seat. Doors did not open far enough and the portal was was too small. If the doors would have opened to 90 degrees or 6 inches were added to the wheel base they would have sold a hundred thousand more of these in the US.

The back door opened to the side. You could not haul any over length items due to the method in which the door opened. The lift gate on the Range Rover is more practical for “working vehicles”.

Integrated hub/wheel sensors. You have to replace the entire hub (400$ part, eight hours labor) to swap out a 25$ part. Very poor design. The famous Three Amigos began glowing one month out of warranty.

Placement of the coil packs. Placing the coil packs behind the engine under the cowling is stupid. You have to be a magician to reach the plug wires or disassemble the top of the engine to replace them. I have been told this can be done without this disassembling but with the addition of the next “stupid add-on” it is impossible.

Pre-heater pollution control crap. They fitted a heated air pump that failed twice in 95,000 miles of driving to the vehicle to reduce emissions. I’m pretty sure the idea, while probably a good one, was put in place to appease some jackass Kalifornia congressman or woman who is hell bent for leather to save the planet. About a year after that emission control standard was enacted another even more stupid standard was released making that feature totally unnecessary/out-dated.

Rear view too obstructed. This is a trend I’ve noticed lately with all cars. You just can’t see out the back to back up or change lanes. Thank God for mirrors and good bumpers…oh wait not that last part. I am very spoiled after driving my 1993 Range Rover. You can see very well out of every window.

Plastic bumpers. Seriously? W.T.F?

Black interior. I know it’s cosmetic, but I’ll never own another black interior automobile. It never looked clean, no matter how much cleaning you did.

18 inch wheels. Who came up with that? And why couldn’t you at least match the diameter of the wheels you intended to ship with the vehicle? With the factory 18 inch wheels the speedometer was five miles per hour off (slow). So when you were blazing down the highway at 75mph you were really only going 70mph. I’m pretty sure this was a miles per gallon cheat. Funny thing was I reported a problem to the dealer about a lag between 3rd gear and 4th gear. And they said it was due to OVER SIZED TIRES. That’s strange, because those are the exact size tire shipped on the S model of the Discovery.

CD changer location. On the Range Rover Classic the CD changer is located in the rear of the vehicle. On the Discovery it is located under the passenger seat. It is very difficult to eject the magazine, especially with a light wave sucking black interior.

Rear seats. They simply felt like they were an after thought. They sat up too far, meaning if they had reclined just another 10 degrees they would have been much, much better.

Added after contemplation and sorting of spares in the garage.

Wipers didn’t work when the temperature dropped below 30 degrees. I’m pretty sure this was the relay under the dash as I could hear it clicking when it did work. As the cab heated up the wipers would work as designed.

Headlights wouldn’t come on when the temperature dropped below 25 degrees. Again I think this was a relay. You could turn on the switch and about 20 seconds later the lights would come on.

Climate control center. When you started up the Disco you could just about be guaranteed that the air would not come out of the vents you had set upon exit. It was not uncommon that I would cycle through the settings to get the air coming out of the correct vents. Often I would cycle each option just to get back to the setting the system was set to. Heating up. I also didn’t like the way the cabin would heat up on those magical days when the outside temperature as perfect and you didn’t need the air conditioner. I would turn off the climate control and sure enough the cabin would feel like the heater was on just a few minutes later. In the later days I could hear the passenger side dampers slapping shut randomly. Dual climate control is a silly feature. You could have the heater blowing on one side of the car while the AC was blowing on the other. In my opinion a complicated system riddled with things that fail.

Unserviceable parts. The first thing you read about when buying a Discovery is replacing or rebuilding the center drive shaft. For a vehicle with roots in the Savannah crossing masterpieces of Africa, why would you build a DRIVE SHAFT that you couldn’t lubricate? Why would a dealership put ANOTHER unserviceable drive shaft on after it failed? Where was the thinking on that one design engineers? I’ll give you that it perhaps wasn’t the design engineers, so where was the thinking on that one, parts sourcing manager guy/girl?

Noisy transfer box differential. It is a common problem that Discovery’s have a high pitched whine come from the transfer case. After replacing the oil at the scheduled maintenance points you can reduce the noise but it never really quite goes away.

Now for the good things…

I liked the front seats. It was comfortable especially for a guy with a bad back. The back seats were nice but as I mentioned above if they had reclined a bit they would have been better.

The 4.6 engine. I liked the responsiveness and power. The gas mileage was totally crappy at an average of 12.5 miles per gallon. But this thing was just short of a hot rod. If there was a nice tuned diesel under the bonnet, I would have paid to have the wreck repaired.

Sound system. Only a few times did I wish the dial had “gone to eleven” as they say.

Every time I heard, “Cult of Personality” by Living Colour. The sound system responded well, it was loud and it sounded good, but it needed an eleven.

Off-road. I only had her off-road a few times. Even with the Three Amigos glowing at me it never gave me a reason to cuss her. Only one time did it fail me when one wheel came off the ground trying to park at Norman High’s soccer and softball facility. We had to adjust how we parked that day.

Roomy cargo area. The one gripe I have about my Range Rover Classic is the lack of space behind the rear seats. I have slept in the back of my Disco and my Classic and the Disco was better due to the height of the space. You can really pack in the gear and since you can’t see out the back even when it’s empty, you really don’t notice it too much when it’s full of reenacting gear.

The design looked good. I’ve seen all manner of this model decked out from full on expedition mode to plain Janes running soccer moms to their favorite latte watering holes and the Land Rover Discoverys always look good.

Will you ever buy another one?
As I learned from Sean Connery, “Never say never, again”. If I did buy one I would probably look for a 1999 Series 1. And the closer it was to simple workhorse the better. And if I could find a rare diesel import all the better. I would prefer to own a Series Landy for a toy. So who knows.

Well that’s about it. I don’t think anything else I could say would be terribly constructive or helpful for my readers. I’m gonna miss my Discovery even though I hated so much about it. It managed to grow on me. I guess the old saying, “it’s a Land Rover thing you wouldn’t understand” really fit for this Land Rover. I’ve never been so excited and at the same time disappointed by a vehicle.

Thanks for reading and Happy Rovering.

Holy Crap! What a week. (Post #136) 4/7/2009


Let’s start with the good part. I took my son-in-law to his first living history event. We attended the Fort Washita Rendezvous. He has been interested in his Pottawatomie heritage lately and wanted to “do it old school”. So I dressed him as best as my kit would allow and we went to the event and had a great time. We are dressed as Natives in the Fur Trade Period from the 1820-1830s time period in what is today Oklahoma. I am dress as a Cherokee and he as a Pottawatomie.

Some nice panoramic photos of the fort can be found HERE.

I’ve posted some pictures. One has me tomahawking a man in the “mock battle” we had for the spectators on Saturday afternoon. It was great fun.

On the way home we “took the long way” due to a train parked across the tracks in Madill. There was no sign of it moving so we headed north towards Tishimingo. Along the way we pulled off the road several times to gawk at the old farm houses mostly abandoned. We didn’t think to take pictures. We did stop on the side to take a picture of a weird sculpture outside a welding shop.

Sunday night was full of fun. RovErica called from her cellular on the way home from dropping off DietMtDrew’s friend to report the Range Rover was very hard to keep on the road and was shaking “like last time”. The last time was the loose lug nuts incident. I had rebuilt the left rear brake caliper and failed to tighten up the lug nuts completely.

Well this time I was sure it was the steering box. RovErica reported a steering problem a month or so ago. I had been reading on the forums about steering boxes and thought that was it for sure. I tighten the steering box up and the problem seemed to go away.

So I took the Rangie out for a test drive to confirm my suspicion. It indeed wobbled all over the road. I had only drove a couple of blocks and it was really bad. How she managed to keep it on the road was amazing.

I called my buddy JagGuy and asked him about steering box replacement. He had done some work recently on his and I wanted to find out what I had gotten myself into.

I crawled underneath to investigate and found. The nut holding the pitman arm to the steering shaft was nearly completely off. My youngest two kids and my niece were in that Rover. If that nut had come off it could have been really bad.

I was thinking the slotted washer that is designed to keep the nut from spinning had failed. Well that washer is NOT slotted or keyed. I was shocked. What’s the point of bending the washer to hold the nut from spinning if the washer is not held in place by some manner?

So I cleaned off the arm and the shaft and the nut and the washer. I wire brushed as much of the old lock-tite from the threads.

OH I didn’t mention that? Yeah I had blue thread locker on it from the steering seal replacement from 3 years ago.

I got the nut tightened down and added some more thread locker. I then bent the washer again. I’m not sure why but I did. A quick test drive to the Norman North crosstown clash with Norman High in soccer, North took both games, proved that it would be safe to drive again. This week I am going to be attempting to get as many of the bushings from the bushing kit on her in JagGuy’s shop. He has a lift and that should help greatly getting the bushings replaced.

But Monday was not done. At lunch RovErica managed to hit a Dodge Ram Pickup on Gray street and totally destroy the front of the Discovery. AWESOME! So just to keep the score straight. RovErica 4, Discovery 0. Yeah in some manner or other she has wrecked the Discovery 4 times. She was hit from behind. Bumper checked a car during the ice storm, backed the Discovery into the Taurus which took out the B piler on the Taurus. And finally she smacked the pickup truck. She has also been rubbed by a kid in the parking lot of North while she was impatiently waiting to leave the parking lot.

Awesome start to a week don’t ya think?

(I’ll post pics of the Discovery’s front tomorrow.)

Thanks for reading and Happy Rovering.

Observations at 181818 miles (Post #121) 12/20/2008


I managed to wrest the Range Rover from my dear daughter’s hands for some much needed care. I took the Classic down and got her a new exhaust. As you have read in previous posts, the catalytic converters were gone. They needed replacing in the worst sort of way. Also recently the right side exhaust gasket was also gone. So the sounds of the 4.2 had become a horrible caucaphony of sounds. I couldn’t stand it any longer.

So I swapped Rovers with her and when I got in I found that no less than three homeless people have been living in the spacious rear of my Classic. Okay, maybe not, but one nearly 18 year old was living out of the backseat. As you can see in the following picture an amazing collection of items have found their home in the floor of the spacious Range Rover LWB.

I don’t remember much about being 18, but I’m sure I didn’t live out of the back of my 1973 Ford Maverick Grabber. People actually sat in the backseat of my car on occasions. Yeah I know it’s hard to believe but I did have friends AND they liked me driving them around. I’m not sure any one can sit in the back seat of the Rover in it’s present condition.

So if you don’t have kids yet remember this picture. That way when you pass one of your beloved Land Rovers to your spawn you know what to expect.

While you are expecting the inside of your beloved British import to be trashed never fear, the outside will also be assaulted. As I remember marking on my friends cars with “shoe polish” I don’t remember it ever damaging anything. The kids have decorated my daughter’s Rover with many coats of shoe polish over the last two years.

The collection of stickers I have placed on the Rover have taken a beating. As you know stickers increase the off-road capability proportionately to the number you adhere to the outside of the vehicle. As you can see in the picture the stickers have been bleached clean by the application of shoe polish and the associated washings to remove the caustic stuff.

So each time you apply your own particular flavor of magic to keep your Land Rover motoring about the familiar landscape of your home town and the trails to your favorite fishing spots or camping sites remember no amount of maintenance and parts replacement can protect your Land Rover from an 18 year old. Eighteen year old’s and their affect on Land Rovers cannot be protected by applications of Waxoyl or installation of brush guards or applications of Lexol to keep your leather seats intact. No products have been invented that can protect your Land Rover from the day to day use by an eighteen year old. Only luck and the magical event of your dear little rug rat getting their first career job and their desire to “drive something else” will protect your Land Rover from the unanticipated affects of an eighteen year old.

Thanks for reading and Happy Rovering.