My Farm Girl is Wearing a Prom Dress

Check out these videos. Those guys are wearing suits! That fellow there is wearing a sweater and tie AND operating a open belt PTO driven table saw! That’s just Crazy-Awesome. If this feature was available on today’s Land Rovers I can assure you the lawsuits from idiot misuse would fill the bloody Superdome. I’m also guessing that poor lady’s Jaguar or MG was in the shop when her husband suggested she do the daily shopping in the Series 1.

And part 2…

What was that in the 36th second of the first video? “the strong aluminum body… no corrosion, no rust in the corners, no laying up for painting.”

Later the narrator says, “The most reliable vehicle in the world.” Perhaps the Series 1 Land Rover was all of this. The Range Rover Classic? I’d say not so much.

Land Rover engineers need to hear the narrator’s words again. Perhaps these videos should be required viewing.

Having watched these videos and after re-reading “The Range Rover Story” on Ovalnews.com a question comes to mind.

Am I asking too much of my Range Rover LWB?

It’s a fair question. Am I asking a beauty queen to be a farm girl? I realize that I am restoring a RANGE ROVER and not a Defender or Series truck. If you listen to the narrator, Land Rover was once careful about construction. When did they drop the ball?

I highly recommend you read, “The Range Rover Story” you can get the complete story of how a utilitarian work vehicle became the Best 4x4xFar. You can see the direction of the company begin to snowball into maintaining its high end SUV reputation. If you’ve read it, read it again.

The Range Rover was designed to be a higher end vehicle from the beginning. How much higher than the utilitarian run-about, has been a creeping mission statement coming up on fifty years. Wearing the name “Rolls-Royce of Off-Roaders” would probably dictate something perhaps no longer indented to be utilitarian. About the time I was promoted to Lance Corporal in the USMCR, circa 1983 according to the article the “hose it out interior” was replaced with lush carpet. This perhaps is the defining moment when our farm girl started wearing make-up and stopped wearing her boots.

I would never imagine anyone taking today’s Evoque and making it a serious off-road or even driving it on a lovely greenlining tour of Uncle Billy’s sheep farm. Sure there’s a possibility that someone would do it as a stunt, but there is no way anyone would seriously expect an Evoque to be used as a trail vehicle.

Look at it. It’s a CAR for God’s sake. It’s a car wearing the Range Rover name. It is available in TWO-WHEEL DRIVE! What.the.hell? Is the marketing department so inept that they couldn’t launch a new vehicle line with a new name? Is the mother company so afraid of leaving the Range Rover name that they have in fact created a separate brand?

Here is a partial list of the models of Range Rovers taken from RangeRovers.net and Wikipedia. It’s not a complete list nor does it cover any the Special Vehicles modifications. This list spans the three generations of Range Rovers.

Vogue
Hunter
County
County LSE
County LWB
County Sport
Great Divide Edition
Desert Storm Edition (only one made)
25th Anniversary Model
Brooklands/TWR
4.0 SE
4.0 SE Panther Edition
4.0 SE Polo Edition
4.6 HSE
4.6 HSE Panther Edition
4.6 HSE Vitesse Edition
4.6 HSE Kensington Edition
4.6 SSE Edition (by Cameron Concepts)
TReK Edition
50th Anniversary Edition
4.6 HSE Callaway Edition
4.6 HSE Autobiography Edition
4.6 HSK
4.6 HSE Linley Edition
4.6 HSE Rhino Edition
4.6 HSE Vitesse Edition
4.6 HSE First Dartmouth Homelink Edition
4.6 HSE Holland & Holland Edition
4.6 HSE Vogue Special Edition
Great Divide Edition
30th Anniversary Edition
Borrego Edition
Westminster Edition
2010 and 2011MY Editions
Range Rover Sport
Range Rover Evoque

Yeah, I had no idea it was so many. I didn’t even list the accessory packages that were available on various models. What do we see here? Do you notice that variety of editions are very important? Owners don’t want the same Range Rover their neighbor drives. People who buy Range Rovers are obviously in the upper income bracket. The average annual income of someone buying a 1992 Range Rover was now at $400,000(US) a year. In 1993 my yearly gross income was $31,000 and we did pretty good on that.

In 1993 a Range Rover SWB’s base price was $45,125, add $4,700 for the LWB (worth every penny I promise). I bought my first house in 1990. It was a small three bedroom home in a good neighborhood. We laid out $29,000 for it.

I bought my 1993 Range Rover LWB for $15,000 in June of 2000. At the time I was looking for a Jeep CJ or even a Wrangler. I wanted one for its utilitarianism. I thought it fit my personality. After describing what, “I wanted to use it for” to Charlie Blankenship of Sports and Classics he said a Range Rover would be much more comfortable. He was right. So at that time I had bought a comfortable utilitarian vehicle.

So back to the question at hand, am I asking too much for my Range Rover to be able to deliver me down the highways and logging roads and gentle green lanes of America without my feet stepping through the rusted out floor boards? I don’t think so and maybe neither do you. I guess the question will be answered by the Range Rovers of today when in 10 years we are reading about how some owner’s supermodel wife punctured her 4 inch high heel through the floor pan of her Evoque in downtown New York City.

Thanks for reading and Happy Rovering.

2 thoughts on “My Farm Girl is Wearing a Prom Dress

  • Hah, I personally don’t think you’re wrong for wanting your Rover to be more like what Range Rovers once were. Range Rovers were once definitely meant to be those sturdy, ready-for-anything vehicles, AND be status symbols at the same time. Besides, who’s to say that your Rover can’t turn heads after you’ve restored it? Just because it doesn’t quite look like the new Evoque, doesn’t mean it’s not still one of the most awesome Rovers to ever come out.

    Miroslav Keller

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