Bad Luck and Animals (Post #355) 6/18/2013

 My oldest daughter has a terrible time with animals making homes out of her cars. When we lived in the Quanah Parker house a large rat made a nest out of the insulation and wiring in her Ford Escort. Previous to that our Pontiac LeMans had a rat living under the hood.

On Father’s Day she asked me to listen to her car. Something was making a noise when she turned on the air conditioner. It was an obvious fan problem.

She texted me today to tell me how much it cost to fix. We had a lively chat.

Thanks for reading, and Happy Rovering Rodent Free Driving.

Oscar Goldman??? (Post #133) 3/18/2009


I found a fun site through the Retro Thing website.
Its a collection of photos taken from his car while driving. It’s part of his work, that is catching people in the moment.

Click the picture to see the gallery.

One day in 1989, Andrew Bush came up with the brilliant notion of attaching a camera to the passenger-side door of his car to snap photos of his fellow travelers enjoying the Los Angeles freeway system. He kept doing it until 1997, stopping either because his faithful chariot gave up the ghost or because the ominous flash pissed off the wrong guy piloting a rusty old El Camino.

Man (possibly someone in character) traveling northwest at 60 mph on U.S. Route 101 in the vicinity of Hollywood on a late Sunday afternoon in March 1991

That not just any man, it is Oscar Goldman!!! From the Six Million Dollar Man and Bionic Woman TV series. Actor Richard Anderson. John in my office named him right off. I managed to remember the TV series but not the actor’s name or character from the series. And our office says he’s driving a Rolls Royce.

He swears he’s not over compensating (Post #128) 2/15/2009


My best friend JagGuy recently bought a new toy. It’s an M35A2. 2.5 ton truck. As you can see in the picture to the left. He said he had been looking for one ever since he saw a picture of one a fellow had modified.

He said, “I just thought it was cool.” Secretly we all know he is just trying to compensate for a “lack” of something. He swears he isn’t with the email he sent me with the picture. He wrote,

I’m not compensating for anything! (copied 17 times and ended with)

But what guy doesn’t like a BIG truck!

He owns a 1991 Range Rover Classic, a dozen other Jaguars and assorted whatevers, a Mercedes 300 CD and is building two motorcycles.

He plans to set the 50cc and under world record for motorcycles. The other is a ridiculously crazy project involving a Jaguar V12 motor. To say JagGuy has issues would only scratch the surface.

So his latest foray into off-roading is this 6×6 monster he plans to modify into a 4×4 by dropping an axle. The result will I’m sure be fun for kids of all ages.

I drove M35s when I was serving in the United States Marines. We also drove the big brother to the M35, the M54 which was just a beefier version called “the 5 ton”. He has promised that I can take a metaphorical stroll (I will actually be driving) down memory lane and drive the M35, I fully intend to hold him to that.

The question is now does he plan to make it a “daily driver” as he is like to do with his new acquisitions? Or will this just be another toy in the ever in creasing toy box of excentricity? The jury is still out and with the number of projects he now has planned, I’m pretty sure I could petition him for a job being his “Edd China” for at least three years. Edd and JagGuy could quite possibly be brothers, more on that as I finish my interviews with JagGuy’s dad about his early exploits.

Funniest Craigslist Car Ad EVAR (Post #117) 11/26/2008

NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra – $12900 (Ronan / Lake County)
Reply to: Redacted
Date: 2008-11-19, 10:04PM MST

OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o’clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn’t meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that’s what your Prius is for. If that’s the kind of car you’re looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn’t even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don’t get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn’t let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don’t even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It’s got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you’re operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you’re being chased by Libyan terrorists, you’ll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It’s saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There’s a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I’ll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don’t walk up and tell me you’ll give me $5,000 for it. That’s liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let’s just say you won’t be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There’s only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it’s a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I’ll get back to you. And when I do, we’ll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I’m throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can’t fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.