Zombies? Don’t get me started… (Post #400)

…too late.
The Walking Dead starts back up with a new season this Sunday. I have threatened to stop watching several times. I don’t think the writers are very “realistic” in their thinking. I know their objective is to keep people tuning in and to that end it seems they are succeeding.

The show is set in “the South” specifically Georgia. I have several observations that I can’t hold my tongue on any longer.

  • There is a National Guard unit in nearly every county seat in America. And that means…firearms, lots of firearms, lots of ammo, lots of portable food. Find one or two, enjoy.
  • If Georgia is anything like Oklahoma, there is a firearm of one type or another in nearly 1 out of 2 homes. No one should be “wandering around” with just a shovel or an old piece of pipe for a weapon. In fact, there is a good likely hood of finding a survival knife/butcher’s knife/etc… in EVERY HOME.
  • Short on ammo? Nope. I would have as many reload stations set up as I could find going TWENTY FOUR HOURS A DAY. Guess what kids, no school today, you get to make ammo! For every hundred rounds, you get a candy bar and a can of soda-pop! Its the South, I promise there are at least 4 out of 100 homes with a reload station and the supplies to make it hum.
  • I know three homes in my home town that I could go into right now and fetch a full blown sword. The fact that Michonne is the only sword-bearing member of this group surprises me. After about 10 minutes of watching her with the sword, I would too have a sword, or two, maybe three, even if I had to make them myself. Did none of these people see 1982’s brilliant movie “Conan the Barbarian”?
  • Zombies can be dispatched by a single solid blow to the head with a baseball/softball bat. Seriously, no homes in the Atlanta suburbs have softball bats? We have at least 6 I can count from memory at my home. Get one, or two people, please.
  • No one sleeps on the first floor of any building, ever, no exceptions. No one ever goes anywhere there isn’t at least two ingress
  • The South has a proud tradition of military service. The only military people I’ve seen in this show were murdered by the Governor a few seasons ago in a classic ambush, an ambush NO TRAINED MILITARY PERSON WOULD ALLOW THEM TO BE IN. Where are the military trained people? I promise at least one Marine, even an old one, could un-f@#% this group in about a week.
  • Civilization is OVER. Stop acting civilized to your enemies. Last season Rick had a “meeting” with the Governor. If I were Rick, the meeting would have been less than two minutes. My entire team and all the people I had sneak in to support me would have known it before I went into the barn. “You will hear a gunshot, kill anyone we didn’t bring with us immediately after that.” I win. I have a fortified town to live in now. Happy, happy, joy, joy. Hot showers!

That’s all I’m going to torture you with today. I hope I can make it through the season and it gets back to the quality of the first two seasons again.

I have a show already drafted in my head. The cast members meets a real deal Army Ranger/Special Forces/Marine Recon/etc…team. The military unit to be designated, spends a weekend getting some rest and free food from the cast before silently leaving in the middle of the night with half their ammo. JUST LIKE IT WOULD IN REAL LIFE! For an extra special touch the military unit leaves them a “Get your shiat together or you will be dead in a month” note.

A local newspaper posted a link to a survival quiz…

I scored 74.1% on the Ultimate Zombie Apocalypse Survival Quiz!

“Well done! Your chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse are better than average! Don’t get too cocky, though. Remember, the undead never sleep…”

Click here to get your score!

So first, not a bad score for a fat, out of shape 49 year old Marine. 
Second, I would never be caught “alone”. No one goes anywhere with out their entire fire team, yes all four of them. Want to go to the head? Good, take your pals.
Thirdly, if someone doesn’t have something positive to contribute…they are resource eating, dead weight. Make it you creedo. Make sure you live by it. Make sure everyone knows you will live by it.
Thanks for reading, prepare for your own Zombie Poxiclips, and Happy Rovering.